Prioritize yourself in motherhood isn’t easy but yet, so important for your mental health. Have you heard “You can’t pour from an empty cup”.. Well, it is true, I mean, we do it every day until we can’t.
Before to become mom, I had no ideas about self-care for moms or regulate my emotional health. None told me nothing about it. I had my first son, but I didn’t feel the “need” of self-care, I was happy looking after him for 6 months and then I went back to work. And everyone told me that’s normal to come last… baby first! But when my second boy came, the story was quiet different. We moved from France to Australia, my husband worked away from home, I had to adapt with one baby and a toddler. My overall health declined and self-care became first on my to-do list to keep a good mental health, be a better parent and achieve new health goals.
The truth is so many mothers face burnout, often after years of shouldering an overwhelming burden by themselves. Many lack adequate support, but we exacerbate the situation by BELIEVING it must be this way and by BELIEVING that our own needs are less significant than those of our children. We are all busy moms, having young children and busy schedule don’t let us much time to get some alone time.
However, there are different great way to look after our own needs with or without young kids
1. Practicing Self Compassion: Ditching the Mom Guilt
You know that mom’s guilt?
It’s always attached to us and we never feel as if we are doing enough for our family as moms. Now, if you’re feeling guilty you won’t be able to look after yourself. I know, it doesn’t sound like a self-care tip, but it is. It is the valuing of your own self as worthy. And if that is not self-care I don’t know what is. I know it is not easy. When I went back to work I felt guilty, when I let my child crying on the floor while making dinner I felt guilty… Every situation can become a huge overwhelm moment.
You can change the course of this guilt by practicing mindful meditation. Take a deep breath and give yourself grace. You are a mom, but a human first, and your health is as important as your kids one. You deserve to read this good book that you bought 3 months ago, you deserve to go on a date night with your husband and you deserve nap time.
Also, when you take care of yourself you show your children how to have healthy behaviors with self-love and a positive outlook on life.
The only way to begin is by admitting the truth. Those waves of anxiety or that sense of being overwhelmed and when it gets too much, take a break. Take your feet off the floor, make some gestures, open the door and get some fresh air. You deserve it. And once you begin to start practicing self compassion or just being kind to yourself it is a whole new game. It is important that you demonstrate gratitude even where it is least expected. I swear, when you do that it sets a really good tone in your home and improves everyone’s morale, even our own self morale. You’ll feel it, and all the people around you will also feel it.
2. Stop cleaning your house so much
Let me tell you: Clean and neat are not the same thing at all! Maintaining cleanliness for our children is imperative to their health but worrying about everything being in order? That’s just exhausting! Houses are built for life and children? Children create disorders out of order, I mean it is like they have a special ability to do that! Therefore, do not stress yourself so much and, as they say, be a little messy sometimes. Take some time to look for a system, perhaps a way that won’t make you feel like you are in the cycle of never ending continuation. Remember, a clean house doesn’t define your worth! Less cleaning means more time to recharge.
3. Use screen time for temporary breaks
The truth of the matter here is that when you do not have a support system to rely on, it will feel like a rare treasure to have time to yourself. Such moments are rare and their rarity can be felt in the workplace, it is so easy to be overwhelmed. Let’s be honest: screentime has been unnecessarily villainized. Sometimes, it’s the EASIEST way to snag a moment of peace when you have no other options! Screens are engaging and I can understand it. The abundance of great streaming platforms outside of Netflix and YouTube really cannot be underrated. It might surprise you to learn that many of the best teaching experiences can actually be through educational games such as Blippi or Danny go. In case you feel bad about your child watching screen all day, it doesn’t have to be all day.
It is possible to be an active parent who can watch children playing outdoors and enjoy those lovely moments with your kids along with giving your children the permission to have fun at screens for some time. You are not a bad mom for that! Furthermore, whenever you have this break, you will feel energetic and more refreshed and be the best version of yourself.
4. Lower your expectations
So, if you are looking for parenting game changers that actually work then this one is for you! I mean this attitude can change even eating habits. It determines how neat your kid looks when going out, how often you’re clean, how well you fold your laundry, etc. Let’s face it, there is just too much to get done and you can’t be in two places at once! Attempting to run around and do all the things will leave you exhausted and right on the edge of burn out. By lightening that impossible to-do list and adopting the “done is better than perfect” philosophy, you will create that time for the self-care that is truly necessary in the beginning. In my opinion, this is the first you and in order to find your joy you should let go of perfection; I assure you, you really do deserve it.
5. Eat Healthy
It is crucial for your heart and soul to have proper and healthy food but make it simple. Especially if you are busy and try to do everything all at once like a mom. Instead of filling your child’s belly with such junk, how about filling your family with healthy foods? That’s why children are considered to be individuals with the best mimicking skills because they mimic your behavior too. Ensure that you have fresh fruits, fresh vegetables and whole grain foods all through the day to supply energy to your body. Here are some recipes simple and easy for everyone.
Spending several minutes, bring your family, including children, to discuss what to eat, and there is no need to turn it into a debate between pies and salads, although both are rather healthy. Small change of eating helps in making sure that your body gets the amount of energy it needs so that feeling of being overwhelmed is minimized. When you decide you want to eat healthy, you’re choosing the future energy that will help you deal with the messy beauty of being a mother. It is an act of self-care, which, if done correctly can make a lot of difference in how you feel throughout your day.
6. The Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is an effective tool for us moms. Especially when life feels like a whirlwind! you know. Paying attention to what you like can help you in daily life.
- Embracing simple things
- Journaling for Reflection
- Sharing Gratitude
–Embracing Simple things
Being a mom is not a joke but being thankful for little things one can have a big impact on your day. The laughter of children is sweet and the sound of the leaves outside is calming, or when you are enjoying that hot cup of coffee, these are some of the little bit of our happiness. When you pour your heart into appreciating these moments you teach yourself the real self-care, thus improving the quality of your life, not feeling so overwhelmed as just an overstimulated mom trying to survive.
–Journaling for Reflection
Do you ever use a gratitude journal? Go on your journal and spend a little time writing down at least three things you want to be grateful for. Performing this little task cheers you up while at the same time makes you notice all the good things around the house. This way, you do not have your heart weighed down by negativity and you are continuously holding positive energy and happiness.
–Sharing Gratitude
The use of gratitude in family matters has countless benefits as I’ve learned! It helps you to remind your kids to say things that they are grateful for during quiet time like just before sleeping or meals. If you have little ones or they don’t want to say anything, I speak up and say out loud why I am grateful for. It’s really my best thing to do with them.
It transforms into an enjoyable activity, making everyone happy and amidst all the difficult moments in life. This practice is helpful for your family to refocus, to reassure all of you that sometimes you must look for the good when the path feels rocky.
7. Move Your Body
Looking for opportunities to move your body is a healing process of discovering a new you, a spirited, alive you! As moms, we leave ourselves busy with so many chores around, and before we realize it, we are complete wrecks. But I can assure you that by adding just a small amount of physical activity to our routine, we can completely change ourselves.
- Start Small: Incorporate Movement into Your Day
- Mindful Movement: Listen to Your Body
- Enjoy the Benefits of Regular Exercise
–Start Small: Incorporate Movement into Your Day
You don’t need to go for hours at the gym, you need to practice small steps that make a huge impact. Picture this: get to dance with your kids in the living room and join them in a dance. Turn the volume up high and let your body just get down! These few breaks in movement are not only positive for your physical health; they help your mood and develop your own self-care. It brings smiles on your face and the faces of the little ones, and you realize that simple acts just mean so much and bring so much joy to everyone.
–Mindful Movement: Listen to Your Body
Take a break and listen to what your body, what it actually needs. One is that 20-30 minutes of the brisk walk may bring energy to your heart while another day just a walk, or practice yoga could do the job. It is liberating to practice body positivity when in movement. That way you are not overwhelmed by aggravating notions.
Enjoy the Benefits of Regular Exercise at dawn
Waking up before kids, can be a good option for stretching or get a quiet cup of coffee while scrolling social media. It gives you more energy, better mood states and an “extra minute” for yourself. Remember that every time you pamper yourself, you are also telling your children that a self-care routine is important in order to love yourself.
Last thing, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM.
